Thursday, August 27, 2015

Facing our fears

I grew up in the same city, in the same house, in the same room. Things in my life were very consistent.  

Except, you know, change. And specifically, change with people. People were always moving and leaving. I hated it, obviously. 

But as we move and grow, I have learned to embrace change. It can still suck, and make me cry and angry, but the new fear I have learned to loathe is stress.

Every time our lives change, I become overwhelmed and stressed out. I try hard to stay positive, and know that this trial in our lives will too pass, but it's hard. It's hard not to just break down and cry in a corner. It's hard to keep working, praying, and staying positive. 

I have felt horrible about not keeping up better with my blog and our lives. 

I believe I have mentioned on here that we moved to South Dakota. We did this Sept of 2014. That November we bought a house. A "cosmetic" fixer-upper as I will call it. 
We have LOVED having a house.
The kids have LOVED having a house.
The dogs have LOVED having a house.
So many bedrooms, a laundry room, a backyard, garage, a place of our own with our own mail box even. 

But, Joe didn't care for his job here. You know, the whole reason we moved to South Dakota. He started looking and applying for new jobs back in February. His boss found out a few weeks later ("perks" of a small town), but soon it was realized that this was best for everyone and he got support. 

But nothing promising was happening. We had been told Joe had about 3-5 years with his current job to "prove himself", so we were not worried about not having a job, it just wasn't covering our family financially enough. I started a part time job, Joe worked hard and long hours, and we were both getting frustrated. 

We really do like Pierre where we live. But there is a certain attitude we both face, unprofessional and not respecting education, that we both resented.

Finally, a Jon came up that was promising within The company Joe worked for and he was perfect for it. All we were waiting for was the official offer. But after a few weeks, it never came. And the job closed, unfilled. 

During this time we went fishing, camping, celebrated birthdays and holidays and saw family. We were making the most out of this place that we lived. Joe had also been applying and interviewing for other jobs.

The day or two after that job closed, Joe was informed he was being laid off. Luckily, he had just had a really promising interview the week before. He called gem up, and they said "hold on- you will be hearing from HR soon."

Joe broke all this news to me by taking me out to lunch and saying "good news is, that I hated that job and now I don't have to go back!"

It really was the best thing we could have done for each other at the time. A date to celebrate the end of an era.

The next day Joe got the official offer with his new company, and it truly was more than we were expecting. We felt blessed. 

The only thing we had left to do, was all of the hard parts. Moving, working on our house, selling it, and starting over a year from when We had just moved and started over.

So that's what life has been like for us, just to get you all caught up a little bit more.

I am 23 weeks 1 day pregnant with baby #3, and go in next week for a follow up ultrasound for cervic Previa. 
Séamus just turned 2 on Tuesday, and Sariah turns 4 on Friday.

We are painting our house, replacing carpet, fixing holes, replacing windows, and causing a whole lot of stress for us that I can't wait to be over.
Every day I want, and normally do, cry. It's been a short journey, but I have to admit it's been hard. And I truly haven't even gotten to most of the "trial" stuff even.

But today, I am finally starting to see that end of the tunnel.
At least for this chapter.
And it looks oh, so good.


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