Don't Give 100%

In preparing to get married, I always heard, "Always give 100%!" or "Always give 110%!". It didn't sound comforting.
Then one day, somewhere, I heard,
"In marriage, always give 60% and expect 40%".
And I LOVED it.

No body is perfect.
Marriage is a journey, a progress, not a destination. 
We are equals, I didn't settle, and neither did he.
I would NEVER expect myself to be perfect, why would I EVER expect that of my husband?
The idea of ALWAYS being perfect- is terrifying.
I do my best as it is.

Today, I did the laundry (Which took me about 5 hours- and still, only got half done). I took care of my daughter,  plus another baby. I did homework (barely), I made the bed (at 3 in the afternoon), did the dishes (about 6 items), worked out, took a shower, sold some furniture, and made dinner (Thank you Papa Murpheys).  And I am WORN OUT. 
Today, Joe had 3 hours of class, worked on 2 REALLY demanding tests, did homework, took care of Sariah so I could sleep, took the dog out, and asked what he could do for ME. And he is WORN OUT.


But I KNOW, that there is more I want to do. Need to do. Should do. There is more I want HIM to do, but we can't, I can't, he can't.

There are times when I get totally STRESSED. I freak out that I can't do ALL the dishes, that I can't get EVERYTHING washed, that I can't clean the ENTIRE house, run ALL the errands, pay the bills, do all my homework, keep a happy baby, make 3 meals a day, and all while whistling (which I can't- so I would have to learn in the first place!).
But it's just not possible. You can't do it all. And Joe does not expect me to do it all.
Likewise, I don't expect him to do it all, either.

What a daunting task it would be to be EXPECTED to always give and receive 100%. 


I like, no I LOVE the idea of telling myself, "You have to give at least 60%".
It allows for mistakes.
It allows for those days when all you want to do is drown your day away in soda, girls cout cookies, and netflix. 
It allows me to be me, without losing myself in trying to be someone else. 

And I should never expect more than 40% out of my husband.
Why should I expect more than I am willing to give?
If he does give more than 40%- GREAT. But I hope to always give more. 


"Always give 60%, and expect 40%". 
It sets a standard. Giving more is great. But who can give 100%?
Give 60. Expect 40. Together, you make 100. That's the way its supposed to be. 
Marriage is teamwork to achieve 100%. Not two separate people giving 100%'s to each other. 
Just doesn't seem the way it's supposed to be.